Goals |

Are you really helping?

I was at the grocery store the other day shopping for tomato paste when I hear a gentleman say “You don’t need olives, I just bought you a gallon of olives.” While he was speaking, I saw this sweet lady go around the corner of the isle away from him. He turned around and said she’s not even here. I said “no, she went that way.” and pointed in the direction she went. To which he replied “she didn’t hear a thing I said did she?” I said “no, she didn’t.”

We went our separate ways shopping, and I ran into the sweet lady still just around the corner of the isle, she had met up with a friend and was chatting. I apologized for butting in and let her know that he had said she didn’t need any olives, he had already gotten some. She giggled and looked at me and said “will you go find out what we are shopping for then?” I giggled and we went on our shopping ways…

I enjoy interacting with people and this is what I would call a help. I love helping people. This can annoy people I am around because they would mind their own business or they think it is none of mine.

This is not the situation that originally brought this topic up for me to write on, I forgot what that one was, but the principle is the same. It makes me think “Are you really helping?”

I have been doing a bible study by Karen Ehman called “Keep It Shut:What to say, How to say it, & When to say nothing at all”. The point of the study is to make sure that we are filtering our words to build others up even if what has to be said is hard. We are also supposed to know when to not say anything because it could be harmful and it is only for our benefit, not really to help the other person.

As I have gone along through this study, I realized in hindsight that there are many things that I say that should have been said differently and there have been times that I should just sit and listen.

Let’s revisit the couple at the grocery store…In this situation they would have found one another and had the conversation that was missed. He would have conveyed that they didn’t need olives and life would have gone on.They didn’t need my help, but it did bring me joy to interact with this sweet older couple.

So this also brings me back to why I am here and the point of this blog. You don’t NEED my help. In a world full of knowledge just waiting to be accessed at our fingertips you can learn anything and everything you need to know.

This brings up a new look to “Are you really helping?” because the reason you are here & hopefully the reason you keep coming back to read this blog is that I am helping.

I research, live, fall, rise up, keep going, study some more, write what has worked for me, & what hasn’t. My ups & downs are to inspire you to try something new & different. The life experiences I share hopefully help you to know and understand yourself a little better and makes it easier for you to get healthy.

I know that everything I write will not necessarily hit home for you, but I am aiming to help you understand what will help you become more healthy. Also, I want you to do it in a way that you can stick with it as a life change & if it helps you realize what doesn’t work for you, I see that as a win.

Part of being healthy is growing as a person. I study how to overcome my obstacles and sharing when it isn’t necessary is an area of growth for me. Don’t shy away from taking a look at yourself and working at becoming a better version of yourself, even if that means (take a deep breath) being quiet or pondering how to respond to someone so that what is said, is not something you have to apologize for later. I am working on this also.

Feel free to share in the comments how you practice mindfulness with your words.

Thank you for taking this journey with me one petal at a time.

Crystal

You asked for it…

You want an update you say. Well here it goes. Keto is my preferred way to eat. I still have room to grow & learn here. This is a new way of life for me, but I love it.

When I first started out, I did not have the cravings for things, however now there are times that I crave certain foods. This is one of those areas where I believe I can study and find out why. I don’t because let’s face it we cannot do everything we want in life. It is not always about carving out the time either. There really is not enough time to do all we want. Now we can delegate & some can even hire people to get more done in their day, but that is not an option for most people. Now I am a “most people” kind of person. Hiring someone to get more work done in my life is not where I am financially.

This is how I handle the situation, I do the best I can. It is that simple.

Right now I am working on goal setting. My goals are getting my blog launched, overcoming fear, not eating my emotions, keeping off the 50 pounds I have lost this year through the holidays, setting a goal to lose the other 25 pounds next year at 1 pound a week (so by June 30, 2020), eating a healthy keto diet, exercising 5 days a week, & learning how to be the example. I am not sure that is everything on my list, but it is a good start.

If you haven’t seen my beginning photos of where I started my weight loss journey, then check them out here.

March 2019
October 2019
March 2019
October 2019
March 2019
October 2019
March 2019
October 2019

This is the comparison of my 2nd set of photos taken 2 months into my weight loss journey in March 2019 with my most recent photos as of October 2019.

When I look at these photos I am amazed. I didn’t realize what other people saw when they looked at me. I didn’t look this big in the mirror. Now when I look at myself I appear larger than I do in a picture. I don’t believe it is the camera’s fault either. The way I envision of myself is skewed.

I tend to see things the way I want to. This can be a good thing, however it can be bad, very bad. When I was heavier I saw a thinner person. Now that I am 50 lbs thinner I see a heavier person. This is part of getting healthy.

What? You may ask. It sounds odd and unheard of, however it is true and in our heads. We see the version of us that we think we are. It is a mindset and we have to work at changing it. For me this is why I take pictures. The ones taken above & in my starting post are all taken in the same spot in my living room.

See I know this because there is a spot of wax where my young nephew, who didn’t know better, picked up my Scentsy warmer lid and tried to carry it, but it got too hot & he dropped it. I have never taken the time to try & iron it out of the carpet, so I stand on that spot each time I update my photos.

In my health & fitness journey I believe the scale & photos help keep me real. Do they define me? No. But I can deceive myself by thinking a certain way over & over. So I step on the scale to see where it lands, it doesn’t always lie. Lol. I take updated progress photos so I can visualize what I look like at the weight the scale says. This helps me see my progress & it helps me see the truth in front of me.

Can’t you get that from a mirror? Wouldn’t your mind deceive you the same way? For some interesting reason I see what’s in the mirror & what’s in a picture differently. Maybe due to the size perspective, I am not sure. It definitely makes me wonder. But I am just being real with you, in hopes of encouraging you to find what keeps your health & fitness journey real.

Is it the scale? Photos? Is it old clothes?

Share in the comments how you keep real with yourself in your health journey.

I want to encourage you all to not give up, stay strong, & don’t give in just because someone else says it isn’t working. Learn yourself, research yourself, & be accountable. You can do this.

It is growing one petal at a time.

Crystal

Attitude of Gratitude

One of my favorite sayings is “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem”~Jack Sparrow from Curse of the Black Pearl.

When life is not going well & it seems like one thing after another is piling up, how do you respond? Are you a person who rises above and conquers the massive mountain in front of you? Are you the person that hides & waits for someone else to jump in & help? Do you spiral out of control eating every feeling?

Someday I want to be able to say that I am the person who rises above & tackles what is being thrown/hurled at me. I am not that person. I am the one who eats every emotion. Even now when I know better.

I am working on goal planning & overcoming this obstacle called perfectionism that disguises itself as procrastination. See I am afraid of failing, and not doing something perfectly. I waste a lot of time researching something, only to eventually do nothing with the knowledge I learn because it is scary & it isn’t coming together the way I envision it. This starts a downward spiral of feeling like the world is crashing in on me. The pressure has been known to build until I blow up. This was until a couple of years ago when I started practicing gratitude.

I don’t remember how I came to this wonderful conclusion that gratitude combats pressure & anger. However I came to this knowledge, I put it to the test. I started saying 5 things I am grateful for each day, for 21 days. The rule was that everyday at one point in the day I would list 5 things I was grateful for & they couldn’t repeat. So they were 5 new things everyday. To ensure there were no repeats I would write them down. Lo & behold it worked, I stopped being so angry. The pressure to accomplish the mountain wasn’t so daunting.

I would love to say that it is a daily habit for me to practice gratitude & maybe one day it will be, but I am not there yet. I can say that I notice if life is just ticking me off a lot, I do start to practice gratitude again. Sticking to the rule of 5 new things each day, never repeating, seeing the results time & time again.

I know with Thanksgiving coming, I see a lot of people post about being thankful. With Christmas just shortly after that, everyone is so much more friendly. Does the gratitude help our attitude? I am not sure that Thanksgiving helps everyone be nicer at Christmas. It is a nice thought though.

We as people are excited for the holiday season. The twinkling lights, the surprises, family &/or friends, lots of good food & gathering together. Our attitudes are more jovial & generous.

I believe that this can happen more throughout our life if we are practicing gratitude. If we remember why life is wonderful for us. It will not be the same for each person, it will take more effort for some than others. Overall though when we practice gratitude it does alter our attitude toward life.

I invite you to practice gratitude to build a better attitude & let me know in the comments how it goes.

Join me in this great big journey of becoming healthy one petal at a time. Building upon each new petal. Growing stronger each new day.

Crystal

Challenge extended… Challenge accepted!

I joined a challenge with a group of ladies to write 7 blog posts in 7 days. The rules of the challenge are that I am to write for 1 hour only, including any edits or changes that need made. After that hour is up the blog post has to be posted, whether it is perfect or not.

At the beginning of the week I was very excited to do this. I had my first blog post written, posted, and feeling accomplished. Day 2 was a bomb. Here I am on day 3 and I am having a hard time finding or making the time to write these posts. Prime example, I only made time for 5 minutes of writing for day 3 and here I am on day 4 trying to get in 30 solid minutes and finish up later this evening. Which didn’t happen because here I am on day 5 finishing up my hour.

Now it did say 7 posts in 7 days not 1 post per day for 7 days. I may need to go back and double check that, but that is what I remember. So technically I am not behind.

I love this challenge though because I am a perfectionist & a rule follower. It stretches me past those two things. The blog post will not be perfect and I must follow the rules or find grace for myself.

Challenging yourself to rise above what your normal day is like is a good thing. Don’t shy away from scary big goals. I took this challenge thinking that it would be a breeze to schedule in 1 hour a day to write a blog post. Just sit down and write about whatever is going on in my life, how it can help others, & OH MY was I wrong. It is a big deal to carve out 1 hour to sit down and write when the laundry needs done, carpets need vacuuming, dishes need washed, work the blog program so I can launch it, do my bible studies that is only supposed to take 6 weeks but I have been on session 1 for 3 weeks.

I have even taken up task blocking. This is where you schedule out blocks of time to work on certain projects. It can be any amount of time and you focus on that task for an allotted amount of time. I wrote out my whole week’s schedule, looked it over and thought this is going to be great! Wait, what? I didn’t schedule any blogging time, oy vey. So I re-adjusted the schedule, put the blocks in on my work lunch hour or after fitness class, and worked it out.

Come to find out that even with my time blocked perfection layed out in front of me, I am struggling. I didn’t take into account that I have 3 dogs that need cared for, potty breaks that need taken care of, meals and snacks or anything else that calls my attention when I sit down to write.

I haven’t heard from any of the other ladies about how they are doing. I am not sure if it changed from notifying each person in a group text message to just posting on our Facebook post. I am believing that all my other comrades are out there in blog-land working frantically to write their 7 posts in 7 days.

Have you heard the saying “We make time for the things that are most important to us”?

What is important to you? What is a great big, huge goal that you would like to accomplish in your life, this year, month, week? Write it down, make a plan to accomplish it. Don’t hesitate. Life is going to carry on and you can ride the waves or just drift hoping to accomplish something.

Now of course I am not saying pack up all of your belongings and leave your responsibilities behind. I am saying look at your responsibilities and delegate them. Learn to let go of a “Leave it to Beaver” life. Ask for help picking up kids, vacuuming, cooking meals, someone to take care of your fur babies. Don’t shy away from a goal because life is in the way. Make it more than a goal, make it a priority. Remember we make time for the things that are important to us.

Write down your goal and then find ways that you can work toward it. Take a class, read a book, ask a friend to hold you accountable. It may take 1 year, 5 years or 20 years to accomplish it but do something everyday that will get you closer to the goal. If you’re a blogger, this is a good one. Set an amount of time and pick how many days you want to work toward the goal. I have heard of people sitting down and writing for 1 hour a day for 30 days. I admire these people and would like to make that a goal someday.

My goal to publish a blog that will help people be fit and healthy is a challenge. This writing challenge will help me accomplish that, by creating blog posts for you to read. Hopefully they will be encouraging, but certainly they will teach me to sit and write regardless of life going on around me.

This one post has taken 3 days to write, still within the one hour time frame. Now to some that may be deflating and truth be told sometimes that is me. I am not sure if you experience this or if it is just me, but when I start something I am much more forgiving of myself in the beginning because I am learning something new. Then as time goes along I become more demanding of myself and don’t offer much grace. Since this blogging journey is still new, I have a lot of grace and optimism for making it 7 posts in 7 days and only 1 hour per post.

I am not struggling for content either. If you have read my about me page, then you know that I have been on this healthy lifestyle journey for a long time, off and on and repeat! Something that is not know yet is that I am a journaler. I have many pages that I can pull from over the years. I will use that content because one day as I was praying the Lord showed me that I had all this usable information already. I just needed to type it out.

As this hour ends I want to encourage you to never give up, build your dream and if you need help reach out to me. I will share what has worked for me and what hasn’t. Know that just because it didn’t work for me, doesn’t mean that it won’t work for you. This is why I will share it with you. What works for one doesn’t always work for another. We are here to work together.

Keep building your journey one petal at a time.

Crystal