I was at the grocery store the other day shopping for tomato paste when I hear a gentleman say “You don’t need olives, I just bought you a gallon of olives.” While he was speaking, I saw this sweet lady go around the corner of the isle away from him. He turned around and said she’s not even here. I said “no, she went that way.” and pointed in the direction she went. To which he replied “she didn’t hear a thing I said did she?” I said “no, she didn’t.”
We went our separate ways shopping, and I ran into the sweet lady still just around the corner of the isle, she had met up with a friend and was chatting. I apologized for butting in and let her know that he had said she didn’t need any olives, he had already gotten some. She giggled and looked at me and said “will you go find out what we are shopping for then?” I giggled and we went on our shopping ways…
I enjoy interacting with people and this is what I would call a help. I love helping people. This can annoy people I am around because they would mind their own business or they think it is none of mine.
This is not the situation that originally brought this topic up for me to write on, I forgot what that one was, but the principle is the same. It makes me think “Are you really helping?”
I have been doing a bible study by Karen Ehman called “Keep It Shut:What to say, How to say it, & When to say nothing at all”. The point of the study is to make sure that we are filtering our words to build others up even if what has to be said is hard. We are also supposed to know when to not say anything because it could be harmful and it is only for our benefit, not really to help the other person.
As I have gone along through this study, I realized in hindsight that there are many things that I say that should have been said differently and there have been times that I should just sit and listen.
Let’s revisit the couple at the grocery store…In this situation they would have found one another and had the conversation that was missed. He would have conveyed that they didn’t need olives and life would have gone on.They didn’t need my help, but it did bring me joy to interact with this sweet older couple.
So this also brings me back to why I am here and the point of this blog. You don’t NEED my help. In a world full of knowledge just waiting to be accessed at our fingertips you can learn anything and everything you need to know.
This brings up a new look to “Are you really helping?” because the reason you are here & hopefully the reason you keep coming back to read this blog is that I am helping.
I research, live, fall, rise up, keep going, study some more, write what has worked for me, & what hasn’t. My ups & downs are to inspire you to try something new & different. The life experiences I share hopefully help you to know and understand yourself a little better and makes it easier for you to get healthy.
I know that everything I write will not necessarily hit home for you, but I am aiming to help you understand what will help you become more healthy. Also, I want you to do it in a way that you can stick with it as a life change & if it helps you realize what doesn’t work for you, I see that as a win.
Part of being healthy is growing as a person. I study how to overcome my obstacles and sharing when it isn’t necessary is an area of growth for me. Don’t shy away from taking a look at yourself and working at becoming a better version of yourself, even if that means (take a deep breath) being quiet or pondering how to respond to someone so that what is said, is not something you have to apologize for later. I am working on this also.
Feel free to share in the comments how you practice mindfulness with your words.
Thank you for taking this journey with me one petal at a time.
Crystal